3 Things You Need To Get Yourself Prepared Before Marriage

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Bean and I have almost been married for 1 month (Yes, it’s our 1-month celebration tomorrow! Yoohoo!) For us, nothing has really changed after marriage. It’s probably because we had partially lived together for half year. We still have our own time for being alone and friends, he still goes to the gym while I am still active in some yoga or boxing. So far, we really enjoy our marriage – simple and happy 🙂

Actually, two of my friends are going to take a big step in their lives in March! I am so happy for them.

During the last single dinner with our bride-to-be Ms L, she shared the thrill and nervousness of the wedding. Well, I certainly do understand how she feels now. It’s like there are tons of sudden changes and the tedious troubles from parents etc. These are the troubles that only bother you for several months. The things coming after the wedding day  are indeed the tremendous pressure cooker if you have no self-preparation.

I would like to share the 3 Tips You Need To Get Yourself Prepared Before Marriage:

  1. Are you ready to live with him or her, or even with his/her family?Looking back the gradual change we had, we are so glad that we took a decision of partially living together. Living with the soulmate is not as easy as you think, both of you need to accept the quirky sides, which you might just realize how weird it could be until the day you both live together.

    Well, what if you need to live with his/her family? That would be an even tough situation I guess. You may know him/her pretty well, but not his/her parents or siblings right? Each family has its own rules or routines. My recommended way for you to  integrate with your spouse’s family is to observe and embrace your new family. Then, you will find that it’s a lot of fun!

  2. How to allocate the alone time and together time?For me, alone time for myself is critically important! Marriage doesn’t mean that you are going to end your interest/ career/ anything you love. In fact, a harmonic marriage will give you a drive to pursue what you would like to be. I need time and space to write, read, self- reflect, yoga, piano and boxing.

    Before we go to sleep, Bean and I would have our own corners. He might watch his favourite TV series or DigitalRevTV ( Yes, he is a very good photographer indeed) while I might browse online, read and do blogging.

    Sticking with each other is sweet. Yet, don’t forget to keep pursuing your interest after marriage.

  3. What about time for parents?Both Bean and I have grown up in the traditional families, which conserve the Sri Lankan and Chinese culture. That is why we both treasure our family values. Plus, Bean and I do believe that family really comes first! This is a place that give us support and shelter.

    Therefore, after marriage, we set up a routine to visit my parents at least once a week. Going back to parents’ home is the best way to get rid of the hectic, have some good food, reminisce my childhood and nice talk. Funny enough, this is the place I can enjoy some stupid Cantonese TV.

    Well, for Bean’s family, just like other interracial marriage, we will visit them probably 1-2 times a year I guess.

Wooooo… Yes I Got Married!

Yes I Got Married!! ( That is one of the reason I skipped blogging this for a while, my lazy)

Actually we have just planned for the wedding for maximum 2 months. And we successfully made a simple but super warm wedding, which contains the element of Chinese and some western culture.

There are a lot of things I would like to share. Some are interested in how we arranged the wedding, or why we make it in 2 months while most of the couples plan for it for 1 year. Plenty of friends asked me if there is any changes after the wedding, and how do I feel of becoming a wife at the age of 25, and a lot.

How do you feel of being a wife at the age of 25?

It might be slightly early for me to get married at the age of 25. I still consider myself not entirely mature enough to enter another page of life. Yet, I realise that I have found the one who seems to quite understand me, or whom I can call him soulmate. Here is the motto – Never miss any chance! So that’s why I accept the proposal.

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Indeed, I am so grateful for what I have at this moment. I have the parents who support the idiotic and stubborn daughter, the husband who just wants me happy and find my way to live in this life. In exchange, we both need to be more responsible. I would like to say, rather than responsible, it’s actually be reasonable.

Last year, I have met several middle aged lady. I can brutally say that single life at that age is pathetic. Reason is that once you have reached certain achievements and can easily obtain high quality life standard, you will take being treated as a queen for granted. These ladies seem to have everything in their lives, yet mostly not including a stable relationship. I can always see the loneliness from their eyes. You can say that what is wrong of being single. There is nothing wrong. Yet, at the end of the day, you just want somebody to hug at late night and share the stupid things you have done.

So far, I am still so grateful I have found the one who allow me to hug with the icy hands and listen to my stupidity. Not bad, right?

Startup / MNC Choice for the Undergraduate

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I started my career at a multinational F&B company, the top one in worldwide. And I have been working at a startup for around 9 months now. There are quite a lot of ups and downs in my career journey. I really want to share something about career choice to you guys.

After graduation, probably you will ask one question – Everybody is getting into huge corporation, should I apply for it too? Before submission of the application form or your resume to HR, please ask yourself several questions:

  1. What is my career aspiration?Seriously, it is an ultra important question in your career development. For some people, it takes some time to figure out, which is normal; for some people, they have already had a clear direction of their career developments. If you are not sure what you want to do, getting into a corporation is obviously a good idea, because you can realise what is the functions of each position. They provide you a better picture how each role is linked to each other. You will then have a better idea of how your career should be.
  2. What kind of “Learner” am I? Am I a person who learn from mistakes? Am I a person who gets initiatives to learn new things?Working or running a startup is no easy task. Basically you are facing challenges everyday. Nobody could spare extra time to teach you technical skills or management skills. What you need to do is to learn the skills by yourself. “JUST GOOGLE IT!” is my motto now. If you are not initiative enough, do not join a startup company! Because you will just drag the development of a company. Now, take some time to understand yourself a bit and find out what type of learner you are.
  3. Are you willing to dedicate your time to a startup?
    Startup journey is an amazing experience. Remember the law of give and take? You should expect that once you join a startup, you may need to work on holidaysssss or work overtime. It’s not fun, but sometimes you have to commit to it. Because if you do not do it, things would sometimes never happen.
    I am not asking you not to fall in love or stay apart from your families. Because their support is very vital for you to grow with the startup. Be prepared that maybe they will blame you for not accompanying them enough, which is normal. All you need to do is to tell them your reason behind of working in a startup and ask them to support.
  4. Why do you want to join or found a startup/ MNC / any other corporation?There must be a reason for every single thing in this world. There must be an initiative behind for you to make each decision ( If you are not a logical person, please NEVER START A STARTUP!). 95% of the time in your career development is terribly rough. It is so rough that the ups and downs would make you lose yourselves. In worst case, those frustration will tear you off and make you stop. At this moment, remember to your first belief – the reason you join or found this startup/MNC/any other corporation. That maybe the only reason to make you stay.

Let’s Talk Something About Before Marriage

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I have been enjoying the engaged life for almost 4 months. So far, I still think that deciding to move in together partly is a reasonable choice.

Before moving in together, lovers would certainly daydream about how they will live in a fairy tale life, like cooking together sweetly at the cozy kitchen or cuddling together during weekends. Maybe, the dreams will come true when both of your lifestyles can be compromised.

Well, compromising two different lifestyles is absolutely no easy task. It is all about fine tuning, communication and fine tuning. From the laundry to the weekly cleaning, from the hobbies to eating habits, all the tiny little living habits of both of you are so different. You got these habits from your own family and the journey you grow up, same as him. Getting married is not only about growing old and having kids together, most importantly, it is about combining two rooted habits and build your own family. To better build it up, you really have to believe the traditional and conservative relationship myth – relationship is all about communication and compromises. It is so true. Sometimes, the slang “Old is Gold” would never direct you to the wrong path, at least in terms of relationships.

Indeed, I did not think about these when we were thinking about our future. Now, maybe you think that I am worrying too much, and I am so immature and naive. So what, I am only 25 and of course I would only think like how cute it would be when we got married. Trust me, before marriage, you will not think that deep like me. It is just a spectacular journey for everyone who is about to get married.

Moving Out Tips for Young Couples – The Terrible Week Before Moving In – (1)

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At first, selecting furnitures together is a crazily excited activity for every couple as this symbolises a building your own home by you both. Yet, be prepared of the furniture shopping disaster…

Firstly, for sure you need to list down the essential furnitures to be bought and measure the size of the area you would like to place those furnitures. For me, obtaining these measurements is already enough. Luckily that my Bean remembered the most important thing – the width and the height of your entrance! It would be beyond disappointed if the huge comfy sofa cannot go in. At that moment, I realise that the role of male in a family is crucial.

Next is SHOPPING TIME! Seriously, we spent SIX HOURS in total in IKEA. We took a glance of all the products first so as to gain some ideas what we require at home. Bowls, dishes, candles……. all the pieces and pieces are way more than you can imagine! Now, you can create the list of what you need for home.

Taking a short break, we went back to IKEA and fought again. Shopping is normally fun for girls. Yet, shopping for SIX HOURS is just devastating. You need to get adapted to the crowded environment and cramp. Everything starts to get annoying. This is the moment you both easily start the fight! Another challenge to your relationship. Fortunately, I possess the amazingly high level of EQ haha.

“WOW! How can we move all of them back home?” Even IKEA provides the delivery service for bulky furnitures. We still need to find a way to transport all the pieces and pieces. In HK, the GoGoVan App could certainly helps! Normally the carpark is just right next to the check out counters. Hence, you do not really need to worry about the transportation.

Here is another tips. Bean and I are not from the well off. Monthly payment would definitely help us a lot. You can check if paying by any specific credit card could allow you to do monthly payment.

Well…… actually this was only the beginning of this terrible week.

P.S. We both love putting our photos in the living room. It make our home even more cozy.